SURAT JULIA LETTER FOR JULIA
Dorothea Rosa Herliany trans. Harry Aveling (from Bahasa Indonesian)
aku ingin meraba salju
dingin dan lembut: seperti engkau.
kurasakan hingga dalam selimutku.
engkau dengan mantel dan wajah yang bahagia.
di antara hujan putih dan danau yang mengeras.

aku pernah merasakan kesendirian itu, Julia
di depan sebuah etalase kukagumi bayangan kemewahan.
dua orang wanita tua mendekatiku, dan bertanya aku
....................................................................dari mana
kusebutkan sebuah negeri jauh dan miskin.
tapi mereka beringsut karena tahu
aku menginap di sebuah hotel mewah.
inikah ironi?

kau bercerita tentang ladang gandum
dan pemukiman dengan tanah-tanah yang luas.
hidup di tengah keluarga yang bahagia.
kebersamaan pada pagi dan malam saat makan bersama.

aku melihat diriku yang sendiri
menghitung garisgaris wajah yang mulai membayang.
kecemasan dan rasa lelah di sepanjang jalan pulang
dalam perkampungan padat dan miskin.

kuhibur diriku dengan surat-suratmu, Julia.
lihatlah diriku: perempuan yang selalu bergegas
menuju usia. mencari tanpa pernah menemukan apaapa.
i wanted to hold the snow
which was as cold and soft as yourself.
i could still feel it in my bed.
you were so happy, dressed in your cape.
between the white rain and icy lake.

i have felt like that, Julia, alone,
standing in front of a shop window, staring at the jewellery.
two old women approached me, and asked where i came
..............................................................................from.
i told them about a distant, poor country.
they edged away from me, knowing
that i was staying in a luxury hotel.
it was ironic, wasn't it?

you told me about fields of wheat
and a mansion set in vast estate.
about a happy family
who ate together every morning and night.

i saw myself, alone,
counting the lines on my face as i imagined the difficulty
of my long path home, and how tired i would be.
my crowded and poor village.

i have consoled myself with your letters, Julia.
in them i see myself: a woman always hurrying
to grow old. searching and never finding.

Copyright © Dorothea Roas Herliany 2007; trans. copyright © Harry Aveling 2007


...buy this book
next
index
translator's next