SALVE, NEC MINIMO PUELLA ...
YOU, THE GIRL OF CHOICE! ...
Catullus (Gaius Valerius Catullus) trans. Christopher Pilling

Salve, nec minimo puella naso
nec bello pede nec nigris ocellis
nec longis digitis nec ore sicco
nec sane nimis elegante lingua,
decoctoris amica Formiani.
Ten provincia narrat esse bellam?
Tecum Lesbia nostra comparatur?
O saeclum insapiens et infacetum!

You, the girl of choice! You, the size
you are and oh! that enormous nose;
those ungainly feet; lack-lustre eyes;
fat fingers, each like a cut-off garden hose;
a dribblesome mouth with a host of rude
expletives to come unglued ...
.......Loath as I am to interrupt ...
Your Formian friend is a bankrupt.
And they call you beautiful! The gall!
The incredible Cisalpine gall of it!
To compare you with Lesbia at all!
We live in ignorant times devoid of wit ...

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